I’ve wanted a tattoo for a long time. Never gotten one for the same reason I haven’t done a lot of things I’ve really wanted to do…I had committment issues.
Good news for me, is, I seem to be getting over myself and committment. Take, for instance, the new bathroom. Michael and I moved into our home eight years ago, and the downstairs bathroom (about 6×6, not including the tub/shower) was in dismal shape, then. When I get around to uploading some pictures, I’ll share them with you. You’ll agree, I think. Dismal.
Now, we have money to make some home repairs this year, and so we go for the downstairs bathroom. Frankly, the whole house could use a facelift, but since the floor is caving and buckling in the bathroom, we pick this first. Needed to choose a new tub. Tile or tub surround? What material for the floor? Colors? Textures? How about the walls? What color paint? Fixtures….several thousand to choose from at about a half-dozen retailers within 10 miles of my house….
Oh shit. Oh shit Oh shit. For one thing, SHIT! I’m freaked out that there are over a half-dozen places to purchase this stuff within walking distance of my house. Another thing…I’m might be living with this bathroom for as long as we live in the house — how am I going to pick the ‘right’ stuff? What if I make a choice and then find something I like better? And..
Oh, this is funny. So I’m looking at the Home Depot website to get some ideas and I click on the “Before and After” section of their bathroom remodeling site. Looking through the pics, I mean, criminey! The bathrooms are beautifu! The paint, fixtures, the beautiful floors and the way they’re decorated…just stunning.
I call Michael over to take a look and get a sense of what he likes. “Yeah, Babe,” he walks over and takes a look down at the screen. “What do you think?” I ask him, mouse hovering over one particular bathroom I like. “Ok,” he says, “Now show me the After pic.”
Um. “Um, what?”
“The After pic, honey. Click on the remodel. Let’s see.”
Motherless son of a…
Yeah. That’s right. I was drooling over the BEFORE pics. That will give you an idea, even without me getting up, sending myself the picture of the before and posting it here–oh dammit. Let me just do that.
Ok. So you see what I mean. By the way, I think it’s wayyyy cool that when I take pics on my iPhone it automatically uploads them to my iPad. Now, if I’d just had the good sense to purchase a macbook instead of a windows pc (and a slow-assed one at that…)
But PRAISE and WONDER! Meditation and prayer work and though it has taken me a LOT of practice, I am now able to make decisions without agonizing over every little ‘maybe’ and ‘what if’. Well, most of the time.
Instead of the months it would have taken me to make choices that I would have instantly regretted and felt gyped about for the life of the bathroom, I made choices in a matter of hours. And, now that it’s finished, I am thrilled.
Oh, there are a few little things I could dither about, but instead of dithering, the quirks make me smile. Life is beautiful, but it’s not perfect…much like my bathroom. And…since I’m not focusing on how insecure I feel about making choices, but celebrating my ability to get things done and make headway — I’m delighted by all my choices and more interested in the next project and enjoying what’s accomplished and what is, than squandering energy wishing things were different — wishing I was different.
So, these are my ideas for ink. There’s an absolutely stunning pic on the internet of a gal with this written on her side — “Fall down seven times, stand up eight.” I thINK that’s awesome and I want it. I also want Michael’s name, with “As you wish.” written underneath. Toying with getting the same artist to do that one as did his. (He has my name written on a scroll on his left bicep.) Romantic, I thINK to have the same artist for both our name tattoos.
A black bear, which I am drawn to as a totem for a reason I can’t grasp, yet. It would be sitting in a stream, looking very cool and content.
One of these days, I’ll make the time to get started on tattoos. But now, I’m going to go wake up my husband, drink some more coffee, meditate and enjoy things as they are this moment.
That last pic? ! Before the renovation, that closet space didn’t have a door — just a cut out in the wall. We were using a tension rod with a (sad) curtain. The door’s pretty slick, right?